Week 1: Noticing - day 3

Yesterday was interesting. Honey in my tea was an all-day event. At lunch, I ate a ciabatta bought from the farmer's market. It was a delight. I had the first half as a sandwich and the second was smeared with nut butter. 

All of a sudden, my nut butter feast was covered in sweet marmalade. Entirely unconscious sugar feed. I hadn't had a conscious craving and I hadn't noticed myself putting marmalade on my bread. Well I had, but I hadn't made the obvious connection that marmalade is mostly sugar.

Last night, conversely, I had no cravings at all. I was at Spud Night for North Korea, a regular and truly lovely fundraiser in Tufnell Park. There are always cakes so good it makes you cry and meringues (one of the purest sugar hits there is, pudding-wise, and a personal favourite). I didn't crave one and I didn't want one, so I stuck with my potato and a couple of glasses of water. No hardship, no problem.

It happened again today, though, the unconscious sugar, with a squeege of brown sauce on my sausage. Slightly stealthier sugar than marmalade, admittedly, but again, it snuck in without my noticing. 

On the noticing front, I ate the cake I'd baked for my lovely cousin Ruth's birthday. It was obscenely sweet (chocolate brownie cake with lavender and vanilla buttercream icing). I had one tiny slice, which was lovely, and then thought about having another all the way round the pond. It was in my blood and on my mind. 

Sugar, you are a fickle mistress, but when you dominate me, you need no whips or buckles - just heady sweetness and quiet omnipresence. We're in this together, Lady Sweet. We need to have a talk about our relationship.